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Micah [Mania.]

[ website | My Website ]
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JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I HATE LJ [Jun. 19th, 2007|11:17 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
[mood |enragedfuck you.]
[music |the number 12 looks like you]

fuck you guys
especially the people trying to be better than me on fucking ftmvanity
i dont give a shit if you think im immature
and that smoking pot is bad
fuck you
i can do whatever the fuck i want
thanks MOM
fucking naggers.
you think you're awesome because you're older than me.
shut the fuck up and get a life.

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mehh. [Jun. 16th, 2007|02:39 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
[Current Location |somewhere in chicago.]
[mood |bitchymicah is a mad micah.]
[music |the new year-death cab for cutie]

my teeth hurt.
i want jackie to be here.
she makes everything better. =[
i have to wear a skirt to my uncles wedding.
i dont shave my legs.
they arent that bad now, but by the end of july, im sure they will be.
all that hard work for nothing.
im happy that sean is getting married and i love krissy, i just dont want to wear a skirt.


my little cousins are coming over.
so are my grandparents.
im not too happy with my grandma.
shes the one that is making me wear that stuff.
my mom is just like "just do it."

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bored. [Jun. 14th, 2007|10:22 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
[mood |calmin love]
[music |modern girl-sleater~kinney]

i wish my jackieboo was here.
i miss her.
i had a sexy make out session with her last night.
i love my jackie.
shes so cool...and babeish...and amazing.
she had to go get her state ID today so i didnt get to be with her.
i miss you baby.
our 2 month is in..
12 days.
soon to be 11 days.

damn im so in love with her. =]

[04.26.07.] forever jackieboo <33

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fuck im back [May. 28th, 2007|10:22 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
i havent been on this site in so fucking long.
lemme update ya'll.
im about to go into sophomore year in high school
i'll be 15 soon
i have a girlfriend named jackie and our one month was the 26th
i love life. =]
my band is playing a show at a venue in june
im excitedd.
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blah blah blahhh [Jan. 7th, 2007|11:50 am]
Micah [Mania.]
i am so fucking bored
i dont know what to do
ive been myspace-ing for the past few minutes
and im supposed to call my friend from my old school
so we can hang out
and have an EXTREME discussion
i need to get out of the house anyway
so i can smoke
i need a girlfriend
and a life.
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poem:something cherished lost. [Dec. 3rd, 2006|04:01 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
They say its my fault
What happened to me
Not the first time
The second time was different, obviously
I let her do it
I didn’t scream
I pretended to like it
So she would leave
I close my eyes and turned my head
I felt her move harder
I wanted to vomit
But I held it back instead.

“you let it happen, you stupid kid”
I guess they’re right
I let it happen to me
I didn’t fight, and I didn’t kick
I didn’t hit, I didn’t scream
But what the fuck do I know, anyway?
I’m only fourteen
I didn’t know it would go that far
And I didn’t know what to do
I just let myself go into a state of shock
and pretended I never knew.

I said goodbye to my virginity
After her phone rang
And I sat up, tears in my eyes, and buttoned my pants
I would never forget, her actions stained
“just forget it,” I told myself we walked out the door
but my friends pointed out the bruises on my neck
they laughed and made fun of me
they didn’t know what happened, they just laughed at what they could see.

That night, I remember crying myself to sleep
Never told my girlfriend anything
She’s be upset because I let it happen
It’s not rape if you don’t scream
So I live with myself everyday
Wishing I could take my life away
But I can’t because I promised her
I’d stay strong, and I’d stay for her
I need her and I’m pretty sure she needs me
I hate myself, but I don’t hate everything
I’m only fourteen, she was fifteen
She hurt me and took my last bit of innocence from me
She made me dirty, she smeared my purity clean
Gone with the rest of my confidence is me.
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yay for binders! [Nov. 2nd, 2006|07:21 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
hey guys,
i got my binder a few days ago. its really cool. i <3 it and refuse to not wear it to school. its driving my mom nuts, but she said that its fine because yknow, shes the one who bought it. anyway..
thats really all i have to say.
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more pictures because im a camera whore [Oct. 29th, 2006|09:54 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
ok so i went and bought like three mens shirts and thats fucking all. my binder is still not here and that pisses me off.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting grrr. i am here to rescue you. (the shirt under it says rescue)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting smiley fucking catholic boy.
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question? [Oct. 29th, 2006|04:26 pm]
Micah [Mania.]
[mood |curiouscurious]

should i change my name to andy ryan?? do i look more like an andy or a jayk (andrew or jaycob)???
help guys!
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grr. [Oct. 29th, 2006|11:06 am]
Micah [Mania.]
[mood |crappycrappy]
[music |Tapping-Sleater~Kinney]

so my mom is being an asshole once again. she said (in the beginning) that i could wear mens clothes and shit, and now shes saying no. i just went through all my clothes and i had to keep the ones that look pretty nuetral because i would have nothing to wear to school. and so now i just busted my ass doing that for an hour but she wont take me fucking shopping? stupid fucking bitch. im so pissed off. oh, and to make matters worse, i have to go to school tomorrow WITHOUT a fucking binder because of course it didnt get here yet.

and i miss my girlfriend.

i miss you baby.
so fucking much.

im going back to that manic depressive stage.
fuckin A.
god forbid i start cutting again, otherwise im right back in the institution.


~pissed off Jayk
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